The One Thing that Makes Church Christian

There are special organizations springing up all over the world.  They are enthusiastic people coming together because of their similar beliefs.  They gather on Sunday mornings, often with their families.  They sing, listen to wise teaching, care for the poor and sick, orphans and widows.  They are filled with young people and old people alike.  And they have nothing to do with Jesus Christ.

They are in essence "atheist churches".  They are made up of people who want the experience of church...listening and singing along to music, hearing helpful life teaching, a community where they feel they belong and accepted.  They use their organizations to serve the poor near and far and to reach out to their communities.  They often teach on subjects like how to be happier and how to be a better person.  But there is no mention of God.  In fact, instead of being united in their beliefs, they are united in their unbelief.

Various news outlets have covered these "atheist churches" in the past few months and both Christians and non-Christians alike are talking about them.  Here are just a few articles discussing them.

Article from NPR
Article from the Huffington Post
Article from CNN

What I find most interesting is that while these "atheist churches" are going after the benefits of more traditional churches but without the God message, our Christian churches are trying more and more worldly things in an effort to meet people where they are while still preaching the Gospel.  There are churches now that meet in coffee houses, bars and some that strictly meet online.  Regardless of which side you are on or what philosophy you subscribe to, we can all agree that our ideas about church are being shook up like never before.

So, this begs one particular question in my mind.

Suppose there was one of these "atheist churches", where one Sunday morning they taught about the historical life of Jesus and some of His teachings on loving one another and helping the poor and sang songs like "Let it Be" by The Beatles, "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Simon and Garfunkel and "Who Will Save Your Soul" by Jewel, songs that if sung in the right mindset could be worship songs, but are definitely songs from the secular world.  Maybe they could even sing some hymns that while they originated in the church have been adopted by mainstream culture, such as America the Beautiful or Morning Has Broken.  At the end of the service, they came together and shared a meal, talked about their hardships in life and supported and comforted one another and then later in the afternoon, ran a food pantry and soup kitchen and served hundreds of poor and down-on-their-luck.  After the food pantry closed, there was a short meeting about the "church's" volunteer trip to Haiti where not only were they going to build temporary shelters for people, but also focus on the profound psychological effect that experiencing such poverty would have on their lives once they returned home.

What differentiates this "atheist church" from the churches we Christians go to every Sunday?  And honestly, wouldn't many Christians be just as happy, if not moreso, going to this "church" as any Christian one?

John 15:5 states, " 'I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.'"

So if atheists can "do church" just as well as Christians can, if they can do service work just as well as Christians can, if they are just as moral and just as compassionate, then what is the difference between our church and their's?  If Jesus says apart from Him, we can do nothing, then isn't everything that the "atheist churches" do, including putting together a "church" service, having compassion and loving one another, serving the community and the world, isn't that all "nothing" in Christ's eyes, since they make it very clear that they are apart from Him?  What is it, then, that makes our churches the actual Bride of Christ?

The difference is relationship with Him.  And that puts an interesting spin on what our goals as churches should be.

-The music on Sunday morning doesn't have to be perfect.  It just has to connect people to Him.
-The sermon doesn't have to be riveting and delivered eloquently.  It just has to connect people to Him.
-Mission trips don't need to be big, elaborate affairs.  They just need to connect people to Him.
-Fancy children's ministry, men's groups, flashy VBS's all need to connect people to Him.

Sure, it's nice to have good music, preachers with a flair for public speaking, exciting mission trips, and ministries with all the bells and whistles.  But they mean absolutely nothing if they don't meet the first requirement, which is connecting people to Him.  If connecting people with God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit isn't the primary goal, you may as well shut the doors and go home.  If the praise team isn't on their knees begging the Holy Spirit to lead them to greater forms of worship, if the pastor isn't listening closely to every word that God wants Him to speak, if missions teams aren't constantly asking themselves and God how Jesus would serve, then all we are putting on is a well orchestrated show.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ doesn't need to be dressed up, made relevant or sold to people.  If that is what we are doing, we are just fueling the consumer machine.  If we pay more attention to what the church down the road or the megachurch with thousands of followers is doing than what the Holy Spirit is leading us toward, we're attempting to simplify God down into a magic formula.  And that is what the "atheist churches" are doing.  They are taking the church formula, subtracting out God, and carrying on the rest with no problem.

I'll leave you with a quote by A W Tozer:  “If the Holy Spirit was withdrawn from the church today, 95 percent of what we do would go on and no one would know the difference. If the Holy spirit had been withdrawn from the New Testament church, 95 percent of what they did would stop, and everybody would know the difference.” 

Dear LGBT Friend,

Dear LGBT Friend,

I recently wrote a post about what Christians should keep in mind when it comes to homosexuals and all the controversies the media likes to exploit (see post here).  As I wrote to post, I kept having this nagging feeling that I should address you all as well and share my frank and honest thoughts as a Christian and as another human being who doesn't like this divide in our culture.


First off, I'll ask the same thing of you that I asked of my Christian counterparts.  I beg for your grace as I risk leaping into the frying pan, so to speak.  I'm struggling with this topic just like everyone else and I know I'm opening up myself for some serious scrutiny from both Christians and the LGBT people who read this.  I don't want to bury my head in the sand an ignore what is going on, but I also don't want to blindly pick a side because I feel like "my people" should believe a certain way.  I do my best to make Jesus Christ the center of my priorities, not the religious right or a certain denomination or the "Christian culture".  I follow Him and pray that what I'm about to say reflects Him and only Him in the highest possible way.  But I'm a flawed person, so please, give me grace.

When I think of what I most want to say to you, the cry of my heart is to say I'm sorry.  There were times in my past when I personally said things about "fags" and "queers".  I never said those things directly to anyone I knew that was gay, but I would tease my straight friends by using those terms.  I didn't think anyone who really was gay would hear me say those things, but now I realize there were people that heard me say them, people who I cared a tremendous amount about, who were gay and it breaks my heart to think about the pain I possibly caused them.  There was one instance in particular where I wish I could find the person and tell them directly how sorry I am that they had to hear me say those things.  Of course they didn't keep in touch; who could blame them?  But even with all the social media out there, I can't find this person and it's a grief I will carry with me for a long time to come.

So, I ask you as a community, please forgive me for making you a joke, for shaming you and for not being a safe person for you.  There is nothing I can do but throw myself before you and ask for your forgiveness.  Please forgive me.

The other thing I want to say I'm sorry for is for the way Christians have treated you.  I apologize for my brothers and sisters in Christ who feel justified treating you like second class citizens.  I apologize for the churches that have shamed you, shunned you, and made a public example of you.  I apologize for all the propaganda about "praying the gay away".  I apologize for any physical, emotional, verbal or sexual abuse you experienced at the hands of a so-called Christian, whether it was a priest, a parent, or anyone else that claims to know Jesus.  I apologize for the church labeling you because of your gender or sexuality before they even take the time to know your name.  I apologize for the Christians that have treated you like a freak show and who ask you all kinds of inappropriate questions about how you have sex or what your genitalia looks like or anything else that was mortifying for you to be asked.  Most of all, I apologize that we have misrepresented who Jesus Christ is and why He came to earth.  Of all the sins we Christians have committed toward you, that one is by far the worst and the one we will suffer the most for in the eyes of our God.  Please extend grace and forgiveness to us, even though we don't often deserve it.  We are just as screwed up as you or anyone else, and don't let any of us tell you otherwise.

Now that all that is off my chest, there are a few other things I want to share with you that I don't hear Christians tell you.  My hope is that a dialogue and a relationship can be formed between the LGBT community and the Christian community, instead of what goes on now, which is mostly lobbing insults at one another and demonizing our fellow human beings.  We don't need to be mutually exclusive groups and I believe with all my heart that the Jesus Christ I follow wants you to feel welcomed and included among the family of believers.  And I believe that is possible with a little understanding on both sides.

1.  I want to clarify this: as best I can tell from the Bible, it is not a sin to be gay, but it is a sin to have homosexual sex and/or sex with someone you are not married to.  I'm sure many reading this will want to retort, "But if I'm gay, that means I have gay sex.  So you can't really separate the two."  You need to understand that even though most non-Christians see it that way, Christians do see a difference between the two.  If someone is sexually attracted to members of the same sex, there is nothing in the Bible saying that they are evil and can't follow Jesus and be a Godly person.  It's when you act on those feelings that the sin happens.  But understand, too, that gays are not the only group that are prohibited from sexual relations.  Straight people that never marry are prohibited from having sex as well.  And of course, people who aren't married to one another aren't permitted to have sex.  Most of Christianity teaches control over our lusts and that sexuality is something that is only shared between a married man and a married woman.  The focus is on sexual purity, not gay sex verses straight sex.  You can have same sex desires without acting them out or lusting after another in your heart (Jesus teaches that lusting after someone is the same as having sex with them) and be sexually pure in the eyes of Christ.  At least as sexually pure as the rest of us can be.  None of us is perfect, and I'm pretty sure when it comes to sexual purity, it is the one sin all of us struggle with, regardless of gay or straight, married or single.

2.  For those of us Christians that do want to reach out to you and love and accept you, there is a lot working against us.  If you are the praying type, please pray for us.  There is a lot of pressure from other Christians to not have anything to do with you and there is a lot of hatred shot at us from your side when we do reach out.  And I forgive the LGBT community for that and understand why it happens.  It takes a very strong, very individualistic, very secure Christian to be able to venture out into these waters.  I'll be honest, the blog posts that scare me the most to publish are the ones on homosexuality.  I know I'm going to illicit strong reactions from all around and get lots of "hate" mail.  I only do this because I believe Christ calls me to speak out.  If it wasn't for Jesus' power, I would cower in the corner too.

3.  We hate the Westboro Baptist Church as much as you do.  Okay, we aren't supposed to hate anyone.  Jesus is firmly against hate and likens it to murder.  But those people tick us off just as much as they tick you off.  When I hear LGBT people trashing Christians, 9 times out of 10, I see them bring up the Westboro Baptist Church.  They are not a church.  They are a hate organization.  And my personal belief is that they are run by Satan himself, not just to persecute gays, but to make a bad name for Christianity and for Jesus Christ most of all.  I go to a church that works really hard at trying to represent who Jesus is to our community and when the Westboro Baptist "Church" pulls one of their stunts, it feels like all the hard work we have done to show the world that there is healing and love and salvation in Jesus is smashed to pieces.  Believe me, if I'm ever confronted with one of these "God hates fags" sign holders, I pray that God channels His wrath through me and lets me punch one of those people in the face.  Unfortunately, my God teaches grace to everyone, whether I like it or not, so that will never happen and I'll have to continue to purify my heart until I love those people too.  But my God is a just God and I know whatever hell He brings down on them will be way worse than anything I could ever do.

4.  Don't stereotype all Christians.  Please.  Just like you don't want to be stereotyped.  We don't all huddle in our churches on Sunday morning and talk about how evil gays are.  A lot of Christians want to reach out to you, they just don't know how.  And it's not so they can make you straight.  They know you are hurting.  They know you have pain.  They know you are broken and beaten down and searching for that one thing that is going to fill the hole in your heart that has been caused by abuse or being marginalized or from constant rejection.  We feel like we can help you because we have been helped.  Jesus has filled that hole for us.  He has given us meaning and purpose and value and worth and we want to help you find those things too.  He has saved us from death and we want to share that with you, not because you are gay, but because you are a broken and hurting human being, just like us.  I was suicidal for 27 years.  Jesus filled the cracks in my heart and made me whole.  I now have power over those thoughts and can focus on living instead of dying because I am close to Jesus.  I want to share that with you.  Other Christians want just as desperately to share their stories with you too.  Please don't assume that if a Christian wants to reach out to you that it is just to make you not gay or to shove religion down your throat.  We found the Healer, He healed us, and we want to introduce you to Him because we know your heart needs healed too.

5.  Please be tolerant of the awkwardness Christians feel around you.  There are many Christians out there who have never known a gay person (or maybe they did, but the person wouldn't come out to them for fear of what they would think).  I've had a number of gay friends and family members and even I get awkward sometimes.  For instance....

Do we call your partner your husband?  Boyfriend?  Friend?  Are we going to offend you if we say something wrong?  And yes, a lot of us are curious about your sex life just because we don't know anything about it.  Like, how do two lesbians have sex?  I know now, but for a long time I didn't.  But most of us know we shouldn't ask that kind of question, but is there a certain point when our relationship is good enough that I can ask?  I mean, I talk about sex with my girlfriends pretty openly.  And then if you are a gay Christian, then there are even more things to be awkward about.  Do I need to remind you gay sex is a sin?  But I don't remind the straight couple that's living together that premarital sex is a sin.  I mean, they might just be living together and not having sex.  But so could you and your partner.  Ack...why do I care at all?  Oh yeah, because Jesus doesn't want us to be permissive toward sin.  But He also says take the plank out of your eye before you take the speck out of someone else's.  Oh crap, and I've been thinking about how hot that guy three pews up is and how I would love to get him in bed.  And I'm married and Jesus says that is adultery.  But, seriously, he is smoking hot.  Yikes, I can't even stay pure in church!  And now I'm thinking about myself instead of making my gay friend feel comfortable because I'm always more concerned about myself than other people.  What kind of Christian example am I?  And oh crap, I brought my gay friend to church.  What if they like it and find Jesus but then want to get married to another gay person?  This church doesn't do gay marriages!  Are they going to hate me or Jesus or the church when they find out they can't get married here?  Should I have told them before hand???  AAAARRRGGGHHH!

Yeah, that kind of awkwardness is what goes on in our head.  And I'm female.  I don't even pretend to know the awkwardness in a man's head.  Even with the best of intentions and the most loving heart toward you, we are going to be awkward.  The best of us can hide it.  But realize, we are willing to walk through that awkwardness because we love you and care about you.  Yes, you may see us as ignorant and backward, but please walk through the awkwardness with us because you are willing to love us and care about us too.

I'm sure there are more things on my heart that aren't coming to me right now, but these are the biggest, at least for me.  I want this conversation to continue, because even if not a single LGBT person comes to Christ again, I at least want peace and understanding among us.  It will be hard at times, but I think it's important.

Most of all, I can guarantee you Jesus thinks it's important.  He is searching for you.  You are His beloved Child and He wants desperately to hold you and care for you.  He made you for a purpose.  Nothing about you was an accident.  But most of all, He wants a relationship with you.  He accepted me and I am just as screwed up as you are.  Trust me, my past was awful too.  But He never stopped desiring me and searching for my heart and the same is true for you.  Please, don't turn your back on Jesus because of the way some flawed human beings have acted.  He comes for the broken, the sinner, the sick.  He personally wants YOU!

With much love,

Jenny